Almost every situation that involves a personal relationship requires strong personal communication and mutual respect.

I have a family member who is considering their gender identity, and they are not yet ready to share this information with everyone in our family. I learned that they had strong feelings about which pronouns they wanted their parents to use but that had not been said directly to me and I was concerned that I would not know how to address them when I saw them next and did not want to offend them if I used incorrect pronouns and that our communication would feel uneasy if I was worried about making a mistake. I realized that in this personal relationship, it was up to them to let me know about this when they were ready to do so.  Until then, all I had to do was keep being the same respectful person to them that I have always been and hope that they would know that they could trust me when the time was right for them to talk to me about their feelings.

While there are several examples of personal communication courses that I have taken (Interpersonal Relationships, Relational Communications, Nonverbal Communication, to name a few), I believe that my ability to manage personal relationships and conflicts that naturally come up will be most supported by my learning about and using a theory called Civil Discourse in my Human Communication Research class. The concept of Civil Discourse is particularly important in today’s world where there are so many opinions and perspectives around topics that can create divisions in personal relationships if communication is not handled in a thoughtful way. Civil Discourse is when all perspectives and opinions are listened to and considered valid even if you don’t personally agree with them. Some key points in Civil Discourse are to respect everyone as an individual and to understand that everyone has a right to their own individual ideas even if you do not agree with them.  Civil Discourse means that conversations about political and other social issues happen with an open mind and willingness to listen to ideas and consider opinions that are different from your own perspective. This goes back to respect and understanding that it is base for honest communication in a personal relationship.

Strong relationships in a professional setting are important to maintain and good communication skills can help to develop these relationships. Active listening and feedback can help with professional collaboration and team building.

In the course, Business and Professional Communication, I studied ways to become proficient in communicating in the professional world. I’ve employed some of these teachings in my resume as well as some interviews I’ve had, but I also learned about how communication once in a profession can benefit from special attention to maintain professional discourse between employees.

Organizational Theory and Behavior is a class I took as part of my General Business minor and this has come in handy in a few roles I have had in a work environment. I’ve watched mistakes happen and communication go sideways because employees do not understand behaviors that impact communication like implicit bias or the importance of team building and teamwork. When someone on a team believes that their role is the most important one or cannot see that a team is made up of a group of individuals with their own thoughts and communication styles, that team is likely not to be as effective as one where people have developed strong relationships and are able to bring the individual difference together to help strengthen the work that has to be done. Strong professional relationships rely on positive communication skills and, just like personal relationships, trust and mutual respect.

I have been called a quiet leader and agree that is a good description of my approach to leadership. As a drummer, I had a back row instrument and didn’t have the opportunity to play solos or sing, but my skills setting the tempo and supporting the other band members when they were being highlighted was the foundation for the performance. As a member of a football team, I was part of the offensive line. Again, this was a supporting role but one that allowed the quarterback to make the plays that helped the team gain points during a game. As the Health and Wellness chair of my fraternity, Delta Kappa Epsilon, my role as the chapter liaison was to make sure everyone was doing well both physically and emotionally. Covid and the restrictions placed on student engagement and social activities was something that I learned to work with and regular check-ins with my peers was an important part of my role that year because we did not have many opportunities to gather as a group.  While that might not have been the most “important” leadership role from some perspectives, from a communicational standpoint I think it was the most impactful position because it required strong listening skills and an open perspective during times of significant stress for others. Quiet leadership doesn’t mean that active communication wasn’t present, it just took a different path and wasn’t always obvious to an onlooker.

Interestingly, a class I took on Deaf Culture has been another course that I feel has made me a stronger leader. I quickly learned how much I don’t know about other cultures and that seeing things through someone else’s experiences can change quickly change your perspective. To be an effective leader, you need to listen and be willing to acknowledge that other people’s experiences can change the way you think and communicate with others. Building trust as a leader can help you manage difficult situations more effectively both in your personal and professional lives. I am comfortable with this role in leadership theory and feel as if I still have an impact and an important role as a quiet leader.